Thread:BlazeSolace/@comment-36514499-20180930194549

So for this one I am just starting to get a feel for what it will be like editing on this wiki and how much/in what ways the 2 of you can help me in my project of editing this wiki. So if these feel a little weird that may be why.

The Shield Hero for example his grudge against Malty grew noticeably when he realized the man stole what was to be his new shield and made a point to personally defeat him. A few things; first who is this man that is mentioned, second what is this about a new shield, and third when is he defeated by a man so early in the story?

Though Naofumi refused to listen to any details which he felt trivial which eclipsed all the root cause for his situation. example, Naofumi refuses to listen to Melty and Elhart. A couple of things; first improper grammar in the first sentence, second what were Elhart and Melty trying to tell him that he refused to listen to? It would be nice to know more.

The Spear Hero

He is a flirt and a skirt chaser who asks both Raphtalia and Filo to leave Naofumi and join his party the instant he meets each of them. but quick to admit Raphtalia was right to scold him for flirting with her when they were doing a party exchange. It would be nice if we knew When this party exchange happened? Because if this happened more than a little later in the story than the events described in the first part of this chunk(think a few chapters later) after say Motoyasu has had a change a heart about Naofumi or the fact that he owns his comrades then him accepting this admonishment seems a lot more plausible.

This is shown by his cocky challenges to Naofumi and that to twice. Why is it necessary to state that he fought Naofumi twice?

During his second challenge to Naofumi he backed down after Naofumi pointed out his lesser chance of victory. I have only read the manga but I thought the second duel/competition was the race to determine who would control Riyute village.

In his previous world Motoyasu was a University Student. He had a quite the few girlfriends, they ended up having a fight and Motoyasu was stabbed and killed in the process. Because of this Motoyasu seemed to grow a strong phobia of yandere-like women. He later found himself summoned to a different world as one of the 4 Legendary Heroes, as The Spear Hero. I feel like these three sentences are out of order. In the first one you have him dying. In the second you have him developing a phobia. And in the third one you have him reborn. How can he develop a phobia while dead? Also why is it that in the third sentence it just says later he is reborn etc. it should be a bit more specific about the amount of time, like say instead of later you say then so that we know where in the story this is taking place. Knowing this is important because unless you know where in the story all of this info is relevent/when it is happening all we have is a bunch of random facts mish-mashed together which isn't very helpful to anybody. Please do not take this as a criticism of you but that last part is kinda how I feel a good chunk of these articles are organized (the bit about random pieces of info mashed together with some repeated info thrown in for good measure).

The King used this to take Naofumi's slave and approved duel forcing Naofumi and shuts Raphtalia claiming her to be forced by the slave crest. Could you clarify what is being said in this sentence?

After Raphtalia was freed from the curse, she sunbed Motoyasu for his stupidity. I think that something other that sunbed was supposed to go here unless to sunbed someone is a thing and I just don't know it.

after the fierce battle, he tried to give his all in hopes of freeing Melty, Raphtalia and Filo from supposedly brainwashing power of Naofumi. What is this fierce battle? It is not explained at all and if an event is mentioned then it should be explained what happened within that battle and how it relates to everything around it.

Motoyasu puts all his effort into trying to hunt down Naofumi, in a way favoring Malty and the church of three heroes. What is meant by the second half of this sentence? 